Asprea, and what nots.

Mark of PedoBear!

2006-09-06T01:52:00.000+08:00

I'd assume that your bored out of your asses if your on this site; Watch SouthPark Online, Ask the PedoBear How, now!

Michael Jackson Killed Steve Irwin!

2006-09-04T21:31:00.000+08:00

So yeah, Steve Irwin's dead, "stung by a stingray barb that hit him right on the chest.
Fact: Stingrays hardly killed anyone; And more than a 99% of Stingrays-Attack aren't fatal.
So how did Steve Irwin Died? I was surprised that no one(but me) figured this out, Michael Jackson was infact the Stingray that strucked Irwin. And prove?

Is Actually

Aha! Caught You! Remember the ever-so-many times he appeared on news being charged for criminal laws and a few days later CNN went shut? So that's your secret, lil' Mike!
Okay, back to the news, So WHY exactly did Michael kill Steve? It's another yet-so-obvious-but-only-I-figured-it-out thingy;
First, Steve Irwin is White, Plain orginal White aussie ass.
Second, Two quarter of the world loves Irwin, whilst people are still in doubt with Mike.
Third, Steve HAS a zoo, but mike HAD an island.
So, Michael's Jealous - like all the other Pedophiles.
W-A-I-T! Did I just said Pedophiles?
YES! LOOK!

(You Mutha-Fucking Pedophiles!)
Months after Michael came up with the Original idea of holding his baby up to teh paparazzis and what not, Irwin stunned the world( of pedophiles) by holding Bob, his infant of an ass child whilst feeding a Crocodile.
So that's that, to win the Pedophile war, Michael changed himself into a Stingray yet again, and killed Irwin. Oh well, Just when we, no, I meant they, the pedophiles thought that Irwin was the king. .

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P/s,
I love Steve Irwin, and Michael Jackson - Making fun of them doesn't mean i don't show respect. A tribute to Steve Irwin, whom brought us all closer to wildlife; let's not forget him, in the next few minutes at least.

Support Pedophiles? Get the PedoBear Badge!

Hate Pedophiles? Get the Anti-Pedobear Badge!

-------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------
All Sources Provided(except pictures) are copyright of Asprea, me. Don't fucking post my stuff elsewhere, especially my PedoBear badges.

CyberSex with Britney!

2006-08-24T12:14:00.000+08:00

*Ryan sent me this.

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
-------( Moments Later.. )----------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your name or something

Here and theres.

2006-08-24T12:02:00.000+08:00

T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
T-Wolf> ya, why man?
RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her name alisson?
T-Wolf> you mother fucker

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i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
BonyNoMore> wait
BonyNoMore> never mind

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NES> lol
NES> I download something from Napster
NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
NES> "getting my song back fucker"

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kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
SpaceRain> STUPID

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reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc
* luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven)
asp> that's gotta hurt.
r`heaven> :(

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frank> can you help me install GTA3?
asp> first, shut down all programs you aren't using.
*frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
asp> ..

Harry Potter and his magic Wang!

2006-08-24T11:54:00.000+08:00

Got this in IRC.
And, I-Still-Cant-Stop-Laughing.

JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
JonJonB> Let's see the results...
JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

JonJonB> Ok
JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
asp> LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
JonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
JonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IRC.

2006-08-24T11:48:00.000+08:00

Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
R\er> vaccuums
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
R\er> black holes
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
R\er> lava?

l33t.

2006-08-24T11:20:00.000+08:00

LOL. White kids.

asp. says:
Hey, if you type in your password, it'll be shown as stars
asp. says:
********* see?
AzureDiamond says:
hunter2
AzureDiamond says:
doesnt look like stars to me
asp. says:
AzureDiamond says:
*******
asp. says:
That's what i see.
AzureDiamond says:
oh, really?
asp. says:
Yeh.
AzureDiamond says:
you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
AzureDiamond says:
haha, does that look funny to you?
asp. says:
lol yeah.
asp. says:
See, when you typed hunter2, it's shown to me as *******
AzureDiamond says:
thats neat, I didnt know msn did that
asp. says:
yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will be shown to me as *******
AzureDiamond says:
awesome!
AzureDiamond says:
wait, how do you know my pw?
asp. says:
uh? I dont.
asp. says:
erm. I just copy & pasted your "*******'s" and it appears to you as hunter2 cause its your password.
AzureDiamond says:
oh, ok.

The Chicken & the Duck.

2006-07-13T20:19:00.000+08:00

I hung up on this one, was indeed going nowhere with her. LOl.

Shiela A. (22690): Hi, my name is Shiela A. (22690). How may I help you?
asp: Hi
asp: Do i call you Shiela or do i call you A?
Shiela A. (22690): You can call me Shiela.
asp: Okay A, I have a problem here
asp: My friend told me about this Live Chat Support service,
Shiela A. (22690): Okay.
asp: And he said i gotta have a faulty Linksys product to use the service.
asp: So i brought a router
asp: But it aint giving me any problems.
asp: What do I do?
Shiela A. (22690): May I know the model number of your Linksys device?
asp: WRT54G
asp: It's supposed to be faulty.
Shiela A. (22690): What seems to be the problem with that device?
asp: There isn't any.
asp: That's the problem.
Shiela A. (22690): What do you mean?
asp: I meant, that I had brought a working router.
Shiela A. (22690): Okay.
asp: So,
asp: It's like I ordered duck and I got a chicken.
Shiela A. (22690): So, there's isn't any problem as of the moment, right?
asp: Yes there is!
asp: What's the problem when you've ordered a duck and you got a chicken?
Shiela A. (22690): But, right now it's working fine, right?
asp: But it ain't supposed to work fine.
asp: The chicken does taste good, but I did ordered a duck.
Shiela A. (22690): I'm sorry.
asp: Whatever for m' dear?
Shiela A. (22690): It seems that were going nowhere here.
asp: Where'd you intended to go in first place?
asp: :)

OMG I've got a Black 'un!

2006-07-13T15:06:00.000+08:00

Oh great, now i'm famous with the operators already. LOL.

Maricel A. (10096): Hi, my name is Maricel A. (10096). How may I help you?
asp: Hello.
asp: I've purchased your product online, and to my surprise it came in black color.
asp: I remembered ordering a white one.
Maricel A. (10096): I see.
Maricel A. (10096): Can you please confirm the model number of your Linksys product?
asp: WRT54G I think.
Maricel A. (10096): How about the version number?
asp: How do i check his version?
Maricel A. (10096): You can find the version number just beside the model number underneath the device itself.
asp: Underneath?
asp: You mean on his feet?
Maricel A. (10096): Yes.
asp: Oh wait.
Maricel A. (10096): Okay.
asp: It displayed there on his foot, v2.2
asp: What does that mean?
Maricel A. (10096): Okay, thank you for that.
asp: Do i get a refund of a white one?
Maricel A. (10096): Before we go further, may I have your complete name and phone number? Just for record purposes.
asp: Asprea Rnysr.
asp: I do not reside in the states
asp: Do you still need my number?
Maricel A. (10096): Yes, please.
asp: +002 135 967 28340018993145988300228113 (400134)
Maricel A. (10096): Okay, thank you for that.
asp: Alright.
asp: Now how do i turn him white?
Maricel A. (10096): Can you give me three minutes? Let me verify your concern from my resources.
Maricel A. (10096): Would that be okay with you?
asp: Three minutes it'd be.
asp: I'm counting
asp: :)
Maricel A. (10096): Thanks.
asp: One minute left.
Maricel A. (10096): Thank you for patiently waiting.
asp: Woah damn, your good.
Maricel A. (10096): By the way, can you please describe to me the colors on the router?
asp: Black
asp: Theres some brown spots on his face though.
Maricel A. (10096): Aside from black, is there any other color?
asp: No, I told you his black.
asp: He wasnt what I saw on the website.
asp: It says on the website that if i'd buy one i could communicate on net and play games with right?
asp: But I placed him in a net and nothing happens, much less do we speak about playing "net games".
asp: He doesn't seem to understand me at all.
Maricel A. (10096): I see.
Maricel A. (10096): Let me just verify, the model number of your router is WRT54G, correct?
asp: Yes, that was what's written on his feet.
Maricel A. (10096): I see.
Maricel A. (10096): Linksys WRT54G routers has blue and black color.
Maricel A. (10096): Can you please double check the model number?
asp: What'd you mean by "router"?
Maricel A. (10096): I mean, your Device is a router.
asp: Oh, you call them "routers"?
Maricel A. (10096): Yes.
asp: We call them kids here.
Maricel A. (10096): If you do not have any problems regarding Linksys's products, Please leave this conversation now. Thank You.
asp: Wait dude.
asp: You guys sold me a black kid and now your not attending to me?
asp: I wanted a white one in the first place anyway.
Maricel A. (10096): If you do not have any problems regarding Linksys's products, Please leave this conversation now. Thank You.
asp: IM TELLING YOU, HE DOESNT UNDERSTANDS MY LANGUAGE.
asp: I WANT A WHITE KID TO PLAY NET GAMES WITH.
Maricel A. (10096): We all know who you are. :)
Maricel A. (10096) Has Disconnected

2 Minutes?!

2006-07-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

>:D Here's "Leann Loureyna S. (17760)". im SunilKumar. :D

Leann Loureyna S. (17760): Hi, my name is Leann Loureyna S. (17760). How may I help you?
SunilKumar(50298): Hi, my name is SunilKumar(50298). How may I help you?
SunilKumar(50298): Wait
SunilKumar(50298): That's my line dude
SunilKumar(50298): What is the problem you are experiencing with your Linksys product?
Leann Loureyna S. (17760): What Linksys device can I help you with?
SunilKumar(50298): Hey!
SunilKumar(50298): Stop parroting me!
Leann Loureyna S. (17760): I do apologize. If you continue to send invalid queries or inappropriate messages in the next 2 minutes, I will be compelled to end this session. Thank you for your cooperation!
SunilKumar(50298): Okay okay,
SunilKumar(50298): I'll have a Happy Meal then.
SunilKumar(50298): No toys.
Leann Loureyna S. (17760): Since you do not have a Linksys concern that I can help you with, we have to end this session so I can attend to other clients. Have a nice day!
SunilKumar(50298): WAIT
SunilKumar(50298): You said 2 minutes!
SunilKumar(50298): And what about My Happy Meal?!
Leann Loureyna S. (17760) Has Disconnected

Could you please let me know what is bic mac?

2006-07-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

Luigi is still far by my favourite operator, the only one with a lil' sense of humor. Well I've never seen this guy before, but whatever. Cheers to Linksys, and Macdonalds. In hopes for Luigi, I've used teh "Mario", and guess what? Somebody these days dont know wtf is a Big Mac. Blessed.

SunilKumar(50298): Hi, my name is SunilKumar(50298). How may I help you?
Mario: Where's My Luigi?
Mario: SunilKumar?
Mario: Are you cursing me?
SunilKumar(50298): I am sorry Mario, let me help you with it.
SunilKumar(50298): What is the problem you are experiencing with your Linksys product?
Mario: What?
Mario: Alright then.
Mario: One BigMac and a Coke to go along please.
Mario: No lettuce please.
SunilKumar(50298): What is the problem you are experiencing with your Linksys product?
Mario: The problem here is, im not getting my big mac
Mario: And i want it real bad
Mario: :(
SunilKumar(50298): I am sorry. could you please let me know how do you mean big mac?
Mario: What'd you mean how do i mean big mac?
SunilKumar(50298): Could you please let me know what is bic mac?
Mario: Dude where do you live?
Mario: How can you not know big mac
Mario: Big Mac's everywhere these days you'd know?
SunilKumar(50298): I am sorry Mario, I do not what is big mac.
Mario: I'm sorry too, but your grammar's walking all over me!
Mario: They'r like ants!
Mario: OMG!
Mario: YOU MADE ANTS WALK ON ME!
Mario: I"LL TELL LUIGI ON YOU!
SunilKumar(50298): I apologize Mario I do not know who is Luigi, Can you please confirm the model number of your Linksys product?
Mario: WRT54G
SunilKumar(50298): What is the problem you are experiencing with your Linksys product?
Mario: It's not giving me Big macs.
Mario: And i'm really craving for one you'd know.
Mario: Thats what the problem is.
SunilKumar(50298): If you are no know further questions regarding Linksys please close the session , so that we could assist other customers who are waiting.
Mario: No wait dude,
Mario: Aint this Macdonalds Online?
SunilKumar(50298): Sorry no
SunilKumar(50298) Has Disconnected